[MMM] Why We Choose The Wrong Partner (and Career)

Dec 12, 2016 | The “Choices” Edition


Good Monday morning,


This past year, I had my first operation since having my tonsils out when I was young. While on the surgeon’s table, my last comments to the anesthesiologist were, “You have two jobs: one, to make sure I go to sleep, and two, to make sure I wake up.” I happened to know him through the community I live in, and his kids had gone to school with mine.


As an anesthesiologist, he had many choices to make on my behalf. He had invested many years training so his patients both go to sleep and wake up. The quality of his decisions on behalf of his patients are fundamentally life and death choices.


The quality of our choices determines the quality of our life, especially in the core issues such as health and relationships in our personal lives, and our choices around leadership and career in our working lives. We’ve all made both good and poor decisions in our personal and professional lives.


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Why do we make poor choices?


Alain De Botton is one of my favourite thinkers and the author of a new book, The Course of Love. He was interviewed on This American Life about his book and why so many people make poor relationship choices and end up choosing the wrong partner.


He highlighted three core reasons why we may choose the wrong partner:


1. We don’t know ourselves – Precisely

2. We don’t know our options – Clearly

3. We don’t stay true to the first two questions


When I evaluate why so many well educated, talented, and hard working professionals make poor career decisions, it’s the very same pattern. The connections between colleagues, management, and leadership are human relationships like any other, and the same rules often apply.


1. We don’t know ourselves – Precisely

2. We don’t know our options – Clearly

3. We don’t stay true to the first two questions


Choosing the right work opportunities and the right partner is so much more likely when you have addressed these questions in an honest and courageous way. It is often not always easy in the short term, however, when you do this foundation work, in the long-term you set yourself up for the kind of career and life that you desire and you are worthy of.


Imagine if my anesthesiologist had responded to my comment by saying, “We’ll see how it goes. I’ll go by my gut. We’ll play it by ear…” Thankfully, he bases his choices and plans on years of education and experience. If you are looking for an unbiased experienced coach to help you identify the answers to the questions I’ve shared, my team at CareerJoy can help.


Our client, Adam Addison shared, “I found that the program has given me much more then what I was looking and hoping for. I was mainly looking to get an idea of what careers would suit me. Now I have the information on what abilities resonate with me and what skills I would enjoy doing and how to look for those in potential career paths.”


Connect with our team for information about our programs for individuals and employers: 1-877-256-2569 x 4 or brittany.knapp@careerjoy.com.


Along the road with you!




P.S. Calling all Federal Public Servants! Our next Luncheon and Information Session is this Friday December 16 from 12 – 1:00 pm at our Laurier Ave. office. Click to learn more & RSVP here >


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