Do you ever find yourself asking the question, "Am I the only sane one working here?" This week's podcast is with Albert J. Bernstein Ph.D author of the book (surprise) Am I the only SANE ONE working here? Bernstein is a psychologist, best selling author, and leading expert in workplace conflict resolution. This book came about after years of research working with organizations and individual clients. It was particularly spurred on by the conversations between Albert and his daughter upon her graduation and the start of her professional life. She was profoundly confused about how her peers and bosses responded within the work environment.
What makes for a healthy work environment? It is the exact same principles that make for healthy relationships. Consider how much time you spend at your office. Unlike the relationships we have with the majority of the other people in our lives, we don’t choose most of the relationships that we spend most of our best time and best energy with. Let’s not make this any more complicated than we need to. Companies are a community of people working together on the same issues. Professionals are simply educated human beings with responsibilities, nice clothes, and fancy titles. How you and I behave, fundamentally has nothing really to do with our education, income nor title. How we act is grounded by our emotional makeup. If we are healthy emotionally, we will respond to others around us in a mature, responsible, and rational manner. If your boss is not treating you with respect or is acting irrationally, their behaviour says much more about them than it does about you.
So what about that boss or peer who is creating a tremendous amount of stress in your life? How does one manage this without getting caught up in workplace drama? Albert responded, “Crazy situations at work, like all other human behaviors, follow predictable patterns. If you understand the patterns, you can make choices about whether to follow them. The choices you make can keep you sane.” Albert offered 4 ways to help with office insanity:
Albert shared, "when dealing with a micro-managing boss or peer, the most important thing to keep your sanity is to stop and think. It is best to analyze before you judge; this will give you the information that will help you, or at the very least keep you sane. This week observe how much of your work is great, good, and bad. Remember finding the right balance will take time.
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Sane, along the road with you!
Alan
PS Share your thoughts about your boss or peers on my blog.
PPS Think you could be a great boss? Our Leadership Identity Program is designed to help identify your leadership strengths, style and put a personalized plan in place to be a great leader.
Your career is the greatest investment you can make in yourself. When you are happy in your job, you see positive results in everything around you, from finances to relationships to personal health. So why stay stuck in the current situation if it doesn't completely suit who you are inside? Get started
I liked that there was never the feeling that you were just another client who would complete the program and be gone. Rather, I was made to feel that we were building a professional relationship that would extend beyond the completion of the program.
Easy to use to identify your key strengths and find the right career for you!
Great thoughts
I agree the key is not to be a "victim" and have a plan to move forward...
along the road with you!
Alan
Leadership Identity Program & 'Am I the ONLY one Sane worki...'
Interested in the Leadership Identity Program.
I usually feel like I am the only one sane working here, which may mean that I am the only one insane working here!
Micromanaged
Michael, I think you raise some very valid points. Micro-Management is usually rooted in the needs of the manager, some of which are valid and some may be out of issues related to their own level of competency and confidence. I agree that is wise from the employee's perspective to evaluate what the root issues are and work from there.
Along the road with you!
Alan
Micromanagement
The first thing to understand is whether you are being micromanaged or whether your perceptions are incorrect.
Micromanagement is usually caused by two things.....
The first is that the manager doesn't have the confidence in the employee to deliver what is expected. In that case you as an employee need to find out what the expectations are (just ask) and then draw up a plan to ensure that they are met and that you can demonstrate that things are under control. It may be that you can't and that you haven't the right skills or experience.......in that case you need to produce a training plan.
The 2nd reason that an employee is micromanaged is that the manager doesn't have confidence in the employee.....oops that's the same as the first reason. However in this case the manager is unreasonable in that he/she will never let go. She thinks that she knows everything and nobody else can ever match up. In that case you may decide that a move to another job would be best as it's unlikely that you will change them. In the short term you should try the tactics as listed above to show that things are under control but if that doesn't work then you should move.
micromanagers
I think you can tell from early on if a boss is a true hardcore micro manager. Ask yourself these questions: In the first month, Did they ask about your background? Did they ask what you hoped to achieve from the job? Did they do the right thing by looking at your strengths and commenting on those, as well as areas for improvement? In short, did you get the sense that they gave you the gift of trust and respect until/unless proven otherwise?
The worse scenario is if, right from the start,they talk about their own projects at great length, even though these had nothing to do with you, then expect you to do things that are not directly related to your job for them.
I think there are different reasons for micromanagement. For example -
1. The natural micromanager who can't help it - the control freak OCD personality! 2. The micromanager who finds it difficult to trust - you just need to reassure them - there's plenty of advice on this online and 3. The micromanager who really has no respect.
Many managers start out in the right way - thinking the best and trusting you, then conflicts arise - in this scenario I think it's good to keep communicating positively - saying what you want and asking them what they want and expect. Stay real in other words, after all they had good intent.
In case 3. the manager has some issues which cause them to disrespect you without trying to find out who you are and what your capabilities are. For example - they railroad you at every step of the way without consulting you, even though your opinion is valid and experienced. In this case, if you have attempted to communicate your ideas/views and they're still not listened to, I would say that (if you're in a large enough organsiation that has a Human Resources Dept) - ask HR advice in strictest confidence (in other words don't make it a complaint, either formal or informal) Often an HR manager will have a good idea of a strategy that may help you, or they may give objective advice on whether your boss is being unfair in legal work terms. If you're in a smaller organisation, I really think this is hard work. Do you have back up and support from anyone in the workplace or on the Board etc? If not, then you must make sure you join a Union so you can be aware of your rights and can protect yourself should the situation worsen. If you are on equal terms in a smaller business, then you will know best how to renegotiate or pick up on the terms of the original contract.
It also depends on your feeling about your work - do you endeavour to make your work meaningful - is your job something you aspired to and worked hard to achieve? If yes, then you are not going to be happy having a micromanager undermining your autonomy, experience and committment. If your job is a means to get by and you just want a dignified pleasant environment to do your work, equally you don't deserve to be micro managed, however, it may be that your boss takes the job far more seriously therefore you're never going to please them and it would be good to find another workplace if you find this difficult. But if they are bullying that's a different matter (check out the definition of bullying on ACAS websites)
If you love what you do, but hate the micromanagement, start immediately to build up your case - get advice from HR and Occupational Health, or if in a smaller organsiation, forge good relationships with your co-workers, but particularly with your bosses or whoever is higher up the food chain. Work on that, so that if you ever need to make a case you're in a strong position.
There's plenty of advice online about the reasons people micromanage - wherever you feel it's at all possible to communicate and appeal to their better nature, do so! Getting into disputes is a real nightmare and if you are in middle management it won't be easy or have a guaranteed outcome, often it will come back to bite you. (this is where you yearn to go freelance, but persevere and don't give up without a fight!)
Make any requests for improvement performance related - i.e. 'I would achieve better results if I was trusted with more autonomy in these areas..'
Or, 'as I've been employed according to my specific expertise in this area, I would like the opportunity to advise on approaches, with the understanding that this is subject to approval from the Board/Directors/Supervisor etc'. Then give a small list of approaches you would take.
Above all, stay intellectual about it - stay focussed, get advice, don't be a victim, have a plan, if it fails, adapt it. If it fails again and you feel absolute despair, seek more support and seek another job. You're not alone, though it feels that way when you're micromanaged. You are not a failure, but a micromanager will make you think you are. Don't be brainwashed.